You can get through this! Domini Stuart
About Domini
Domini Stuart has lived and worked in Sydney since 1982. She has four children aged from 11 to 18 and has worked as a freelance copywriter for more than 20 years.
Following her diagnosis of breast cancer in January 2000 she had a double mastectomy followed by radiotherapy and two courses of chemotherapy. She was prompted to write 'You Can Get Through This' when she was unable to find what she most needed herself - an easy-to-read 'how-to' guide to staying positive while you're coping with surgery, treatment and the emotional pressure of having cancer.
The following are extracts from her book, which you can find out more about at http://www.doministuart.com.au.
You don't need a medical degree to survive
It used to be that all doctors were treated with absolute deference. No patient would have presumed to question his (it was rarely a 'her') diagnosis or treatment. If he told us we were simply being a hypochondriac, we believed him. If he told us we had a month to live, we believed that, too - and we may well have been obedient enough to live or die accordingly!
These days, few of us would be willing to play the role of helpless bystander in our own lives. However, there are some women who now feel that the pendulum has swung too far in the opposite direction - that they are now expected to carry an unwelcome weight of medical responsibility.
Many books and websites dealing with breast cancer advocate gathering as much information as possible. Some women do exactly this, and feel enormously reassured when they can understand and comment on every detail of their diagnosis and treatment. But this depth of knowledge isn't compulsory. For some people, too much information can be confusing and frightening - especially at a time when your emotions could make it hard to understand the instructions for boiling a kettle..
By coincidence, when I discovered my lump I was in the middle of writing a website which included a detailed and comprehensive section on breast cancer. At first I thought that being the best-informed non-medical patient on the planet would be a distinct advantage. Yet, in the end, I found details like tumour staging and oestrogen receptor status were of absolutely no help to me. My detailed knowledge did little but create occasional knots of unnecessary anxiety.
As long as you trust your doctor or specialist to answer all of your questions openly and honestly, and to do the very best he or she can for you, you may not need to look elsewhere. Don't feel obliged to delve deeper unless it genuinely makes you feel better.
When you have faith in the people who will be taking care of you there's no need to feel embarrassed about accepting their opinion.
Psychosomatic wellness
Once the news that I had cancer had sunk in I thought I would start to see life differently. I waited for colours to look brighter, flowers to smell sweeter and my troubles to fade into the background as I suddenly started to cherish every second I was alive.
It didn't happen.
At the time I was a single mother with four school-age children. My ex-husband helped me to run my business, so I had six people to support, yet my finances were totally out of control. I hardly need say that I had no trauma or income protection insurance.
My home was in chaos. Two of my children had health problems. I seemed to do be doing nothing but lurch from crisis to crisis.
Cancer felt like the last straw.
It didn't help that I kept on hearing about the power of a positive attitude to help me to feel better, and perhaps even to get better. Where was someone who had been struggling with depression for years, and who was already taking antidepressants, going to find the right state of mind for coping with cancer?
Turning my life around
A friend had recommended a hypnotherapist who is also a spiritual and emotional counsellor. I went along because I was hoping that being hypnotised might help reduce my exploding stress levels. It did. But, far more importantly, I got my first glimpse of the path that would turn my life around - the idea that I could control my life by changing the way I think.
At first I was cynical. It sounded a bit too 'new age' and alternative for my liking. I also found it hard to believe that where I was now was the result of my own thinking rather than things that were out of my control.
I bought a couple of books that had similar messages, looked up a few sites on the Internet and spoke to friends who are doctors. I was surprised to discover that there is now a great deal of medical support for the power of thought.
I then remembered psychosomatic illness. I have had first hand experience of this phenomenon and know that it is accepted as fact by the medical profession.
So, if it's possible to think yourself ill and miserable, why shouldn't it be possible to think yourself well and happy?
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